ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
