He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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