ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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