How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
