Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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