i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize