Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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