i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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