I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
