i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize