u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
