I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
