We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize