your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize