if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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