Your dad touched me again.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
