I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
