He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
