Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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