I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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