Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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