you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
