Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
