I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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