The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
