She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
