I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
