WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the day after is always just damage control
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize