So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
