I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize