girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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