what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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