I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
