I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
