Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
