For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
