Sponge bath it is.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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