i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
