I am spending my child support on dildos
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
