Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
