Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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