I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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