Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
