Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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