I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
