I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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