Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
