Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
