Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
