Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
