Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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