I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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