she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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