I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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