can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize