I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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