Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
