Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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