My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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