I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
