do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
