drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
