I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want nice things and good sex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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