OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize