i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
